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Tag Archives: white

are you dead or are you sleeping....i sure hope you are dead

we’re spread on grasses, spread out laughing about the downhill

I saw scott

everyone reflecting back


its scarf territory, its also kind of beautiful

he’s a shade of beige

she’s a rocking horse

i’m a grenade

that does’nt get paid

lets call a spade a spade

my darling

your vespa is insane

they gather in the street

its cold between the blocks

weird little shooting stars

weird good feeling all round

12 kids

9 boards

1 zean

3 lords

feel free to send stuff

he said

its all good its all cool

its for the kids

and stuff

more flashes more lens

plastic lamps pimped out friends

river phoenix to the right

a plastic man to the left

we can’t turn left he said

they can’t turn left he said

my mom was in love with her kids

all moms are

sometimes dad’s are too

sometimes we drink to you

and you and you and you

more flashes more lens

plastic lamps pimped out friends

river phoenix to the right

a plastic man to the left

we can’t turn left he said

they can’t turn left he said

they were right


nothings making senssssssssssse '''''m over it..stttutckkk keyboar............i'm ooooooooooooooveit


Highlow! and fuck it,good excuses

too much retro

to i’mm too drunk to type but sobre enoough to walk

vice versa

slurred verses

boring curses


the churches are all dead

barbed wire I wish I was dead

this avenues so quiet

all the cars are white

and you and you’re dreaming in your bed

its all in the delivery

if I had a gun, i’d use it on my head

if I had a choice i’d use it in our bed

if I had some options, i’d trade for peace of mind

my eyes drip black every morning because you’re too unkind

my heart is tanked in confusion

its shooting its frozen its lying out on the grass

they’ll sit, they’ll laugh, they’ll drink, i’ll fast

I predict the preppy grunge wave


egypt is out side my window, its a waning moon

I converted yesterday afternoon

i’m at my last

I function, I breathe, this right arm could be saved

is it how we planned to live our life a new excuse for hate

the words get shorter, the feeling longer – your short rod is about to break?

Bullet proof glass

what happens when the money runs out?

Its all in the fuckin delivery

its all about light

its all about I can’t convert gods beautiful images

i’m in egypt, i’m in a tomb


i’m in love with a girl…how fortunate?

i'm more fuck than turkey more hot than cold




this sleep problem is becoming drastic, i managed to sleep for about 2 hours this morning, its too hot to sleep, eat for fuck. pulled a fast one with some stolen doctors prescription and managed to score bupe, forget the sweaty withdrawal, cold turkey is for kickers, the grass has grown threefold in teh past 20 minutes and the flys are getting on my nerves. i should be concentrating on that big white mountian but my mind is reckless and restless with indecision, to stay in durban or move, to stop or to continue, to breathe or in or out. this is a transitional stage young lady, get a grip, show some character, stop spending hours in the bathroom shooting snorting and smokin that stuff, have a proper bath, one that will actually cleanse, get your camera back, get your life on track. i’ve lost my weed.



ts true, i don’t sleep in late, in fact the longest i’ve slept for is 9 hours and that was thanks to the rohypnol. lying snoring like a little child on my bed payed for with my money in a hotel somewhere in manchester. i had 11 minutes before the time on my hair dye was up, 19 hours until my time with him had come to an end. and then what. I cannot think or presume to imagine the staggered levels of defeat i am destined to fall. Stupid girl, you knew, don’t anybody pretend that you didn’t. What was the point of all of this. Oh yes, so you can write. Stupid girl, are there not more noble reasons or subjects to engage that sulky interest. Could you not have at least curbed the incessant bottle to mouth and stood back and watched,


The sleeted drive through rectangular whisperings, with you in my ear, you’re amazing. The skin on hand like skin on shaft like skin on skin on skin on skin on skin. And then what? Nothing. Stop it. stop it stop it.


You told me that you wanted to make changes. changes that would change things


So broken and humbled and seething on the insides. So ashamed and confused and nervous. So much knowledge power respect. So deeply cut so fucking scared of tomorrow and that voice and number and letter. And i pray to you lord, please do not steal this from me, please do not harm me, please do not strangle these times, please look after and protect and help and aid and cherish and hold me lord jesus, and him and her and us. Pleae keep the evil one away from this world, please arm me with your holy spirit and your love and faith and strength to know what is right, to heal me, to exalt me for your good.


you are my frontier.

i spent hours in the vacumm, dissecting the layrinth of letters and phrases, tearing the mantis till she cried in vein over the toilet bowel afraid of honest words, pure light, manipultating the cartesian equation to elongate make sense of this geography i find myself lost in unable to capture the what the hell was it about you. Where lies the volume of work that will harness entrap the intrigue, wherein the library of this work does the conclusion end? And I fight, and i fight my insides and my head and my friends to make sense make me understand that you are the whispering that will some day just make me smile in disbelief of my warrant hydrographic exploitations of foreign plasma, how it slipped and spilt, craving the shore which is offered everytime i hear read your voice. i am the water i am the desert

so heavy and i am sorry jonathan, and one day i hope we can understand my and yours and this. though i am honest in my verbal frivolity, and i mean it with every last lingering sensation i can muster across my telescope which is weak and needs constant reinforcement against the erosion of rationality, alcohol, life, fuck if callahan can break horses i can harness them and you, and it kills me that i think you are the one, and i want it to be so, just so i could hold you forever and be part of the experience, to be with someone that made it all special and the thunder so much louder. and i am afraid of the return journey, the lack of your protection

for i was not meant to lead an easy life and i know i have been promised much but my evil deeds are too much to bear sometimes

and i love you with those three words my new dogma

and sometimes i don’t care if you have already rolled over

and sometimes i’m glad that you have